Content (Comment) Analysis: Are women done with dating Conservative men?

The rise of the 4B movement in America as a reaction to the 2024 Election.

**ORIGINALLY POSTED TO SUBSTACK 11/21/2024

**wrote this for sociology class.

Introduction/Methodology

The results of the 2024 United States Presidential election have presented both a political and moral problem for women across the country. The presidential-elect, Donald Trump, and his onslaught of Republican collaborative legislators have eagerly and consistently touted their plans to perpetuate MAGA supremacy which systematically aims to disenfranchise marginalized people and those who exist within multiple identities of marginalization. Khadija Mbowe is a popular Black pansexual YouTube commentator who uploaded the video “Your Boyfriend voted for Trump?! Dump Him. The 4B Movement Unpacked | Khadija Mbowe” on November 12, 2024 in response to the election results and regularly creates online content surrounding pop-culture, politics, philosophy, and media. 

The video essay describes the recent rise in women’s interests to abandon their dealings with men due to the recent election results. Mbowe references the most recent election exit polls which shows that the President-elect had a higher turn out of male voters than the 2020 election (Pinto & Backus, 2024) calling many women who are in partnerships with these men to question “Could I be sleeping with a Trump supporter?” On the other side, we have many women online stating that they would never sleep with a man who votes against her basic human rights or the rights of others, and are willing to give up dealing with men all together (Emine, 2023).

Findings

The 4B movement was a women’s rights movement originating in South Korea in 2016 as a result of heightened violence against South Korean women both in the streets and in the workplace. It stands for 4 abstinences that start with the Korean letter “B” that have managed to skew South Korea’s death rate statistics higher than its birth rate: no heterosexual sex, no heterosexual dating, no heterosexual marriage, and no child bearing (Kerry, 2024). We’ve seen similar movements in the United States with the  idea of political lesbianism during the second-wave feminism movement, an event which “supports the idea that sexual orientation is a political and feminist choice, and supports lesbianism as a positive alternative to heterosexuality for women as part of the struggle against sexism. (Wikipedia). Mbowe argues that the 4B’s popularity surge in the United States could potentially turn into a passing fad similar to political lesbianism, due to the women who participate in elections not only for body autonomy reasons, but for other reasons such as the economy and immigration:

“If money is your priority, if making sure your money is right because inflation is wild, you might care a little less about some in “X” part of the States not being able to have abortion rights or whatever. And you could say, ‘it affects all women too, it is a women’s issue,’ yes, girl. But poor women are also dealing with the economy as a women’s issue…” (7:35-7:58)

    Mbowe’s video clearly outlines the concerns that women of multiple marginalized identities share and the popular rise in “sticking it to the man” is not new to those of us who have not been able to assimilate ourselves out of the violence of patriarchy via intersecting means of our socioeconomic backgrounds, our skin color, and our sexualities. In actuality, some of us have willingly removed Conservative men from our dating prospects out of safety even prior to Trump’s existence in the political sphere. 

Analysis/Discussion

By analyzing the sources provided by Mbowe, her video itself, as well as recent articles outlining Trump’s policies, we can clearly unearth this disheartened feeling shared among women commenters. Some women shared that they have been practicing 4B ideals subconsciously for years after multiple violating experiences with men. Some women express their concerns with the growing rates of femicide across the United States that are overlooked in these current conversations around advocating for women’s rights. To generalize, those who suffer at the hands of gender-based violence share an overall feeling of solidarity amongst each other.

A look into the comments under Mbowe’s video gives us a clear insight into the overall dissatisfaction and fear women and those of us who date men face as a result of day-to-day violence under this patriarchal system. One commenter shares an anecdote regarding her mother who was recently murdered by an ex partner, and her fight to get her mother justice in a criminal justice system that deemed her unworthy of such: 

“My mom was a white, middle class, affluent woman with the money to hire lawyers. She did everything right- she wasn’t sleeping around (although that shouldn’t matter), she was working two jobs as a nurse, she went to the cops every time something happened and told them the full truth, and did everything the cops and judges told her to. And they not only couldn’t protect her, they actively worked against her…I wanted to share this not to over share or bring the mood down more than it is. But as someone who’s lived through one of the worst case scenarios for domestic violence, I want to remind people that violence against women is a life or death situation. Abortion is obviously the focus of most discussions of women’s rights right now (for good reason, abortion also plays a huge role in the ability to leave abusive relationships) but it makes me sad that there’s so much going wrong in politics that the rates of femicide in this country and the cops inability to do anything about it aren’t even really on the table for discussion,” (@neonradius, 2024). This commenter’s reminder to the masses that even the systems designed to “protect women” continuously fail to do so. Even if you follow all of the steps to be a “good woman”, including assimilation into the White American lifestyle, you are still a potential subject to gender-based violence. This observation can be corroborated by a study from The Population Institute showing the United States having the highest rates of femicide among high-income countries, with women being  28 times more likely to be murdered by guns than women in other countries in similar economic standings. This violence also disproportionately affects members of the LGBTQIA+ community (Population Institute). With such statistics in mind, it’s no wonder that women are choosing to opt out of having men in the household all together. 

Another commenter who identifies as asexual expressed their support of the 4B movement, stating: "I mean, I’m asexual and am not attracted to men at all, so this doesn’t affect me in the slightest but I totally get it and honestly stand by it. I can’t imagine sleeping with some dude who voted for my rights to be taken away. F–cking sickening,”(@Moony1568). People who would not cohabitate with men normally share solidarity with women who are fed up with the dating sphere full of conservative men as they recognize that they too will be victims of this hypothetical man’s political beliefs, even if not personally connected. Nick Fuentes, prominent White supremacist recently tweeted “Your body, my choice,” followed up with a video rant continuing to disparage women under an already existing patriarchy. In retaliation, women en masse participated in the mass doxxing of Fuentes’ home address and personal information, seemingly well deserved karma for his commentary which garnered nearly 100 million views across Twitter and YouTube (Brown, News.com.au, 2024). 

The 4B movement as a solution to patriarchal gender-violence sounds like a sweet, catch-all solution. One commenter states “All those guys who shouted ‘Not all men’ have a chance to prove it now” (@crystalis97). This is the overall end goal for the 4B movement that can be overlooked by the seemingly absurd request for women to spare their interpersonal dealings with men for the betterment of women. There is a manifesting hope that the men who claim to be safe and “good” are not only actively resisting patriarchy, but standing on it by also shaming and avoiding the Conservative men around them. Another commenter states “It's literally dangerous to be in a relationship with someone who thinks: 1) i shouldn't have autonomy over my own body 2) men shouldn't be held accountable for criminal/violent acts” (@uninvincibleete). Based on the previous  anecdote from the commenter whose mother was a victim of femicide, and our current Conservative-male dominated election results, we can conclude that the 4B movement in the United States is a wake up call and call-to-action for men to truly stand on their feminism that they proclaim and recognizing that being attracted to women doesn’t inherently mean that you know how to respect them as humans. 

Conclusion

When it comes to conversations on gender-based violence, women are often held to the responsibility of coming up with solutions themselves, in this instance, by revoking men’s access to their bodies and spaces. It is rare that the conversations around violence against women, while centering victims, actually holds perpetrators of patriarchy to account and action. The 4B movement is women calling on other women to take a stand, and the stand in this case has removed men from the equation all together. It is certainly not common to see groves of men coming together to swear off patriarchal men in the name of gender-based violence. It’s clear that perpetrators of violence against women are protected by the average person, and the powers that be. 

Based on the recognized comments of the YouTube video, it’s easy to conclude  that women and those who date men are fed up with the current conditions. A lack of feminist awareness among men is pervasively seeping into the dating sphere, and people have been catching onto this lack for years. The popularity of the 4B movement across the United States should not be seen as some new extreme phenomena, but a result of years of aggravation and assault that women have been facing since the country first was founded. 

It is evident that the appropriate conversations are happening, even amidst current political positionings. Women who date men are not the only ones who should be assessing the political leanings of their potential romantic and sexual partners. It is well theorized amongst queer scholars that dating and relationships are inherently political. Your proximity to a person can directly determine where you sit societally and how you are seen socially. Women who are subject to marginalization, such as at the intersections of race and class, oftentimes meet different moral crossroads come election time, not only on the ballot, but in the bedroom. 

Sources

• Mbowe, Khadija. “Your Boyfriend Voted for Trump?! Dump Him. The 4B Movement Unpacked | Khadija Mbowe.” YouTube, YouTube, 9 Nov. 2024, www.youtube.com/watch?v=AC0cyIlDMKg.
• Political lesbianism. (2022, March 10). Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_lesbianism
• Pinto, J. D., & Backus, F. (2024, November 5). How Trump won the 2024 election — CBS News exit poll results. Cbsnews.com; CBS News. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/exit-polls-2024-presidential-election/
• Saner, Emine. “The Rise of Voluntary Celibacy: “Most of the Sex I’ve Had, I Wish I Hadn’t Bothered.”” The Guardian, 26 Apr. 2023, www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/apr/26/the-rise-of-voluntary-celibacy-most-of-the-sex-ive-had-i-wish-i-hadnt-bothered. Accessed Nov. 12AD.
• Breen, Kerry. “What Is the 4B Movement? Why Some Are Calling for a South Korean-Inspired Trend after Trump’s Victory.” Cbsnews.com, CBS News, 7 Nov. 2024, www.cbsnews.com/news/4b-movement-south-korea-united-states-election-trump/. Accessed 12 Nov. 2024.
• “New Report Exposes Surprising Prevalence of Femicide, Child Marriage, and Female Genital Mutilation in the U.S. | Population Institute.” Population Institute, 3 Apr. 2024, www.populationinstitute.org/news/new-report-exposes-surprising-prevalence-of-femicide-child-marriage-and-female-genital-mutilation-in-the-us/. Accessed 12 Nov. 2024.
• News.com.au. “Women Dox, Vow Revenge against Far-Right Nick Fuentes after “Your Body, My Choice” Rant.” New York Post, 13 Nov. 2024, nypost.com/2024/11/13/us-news/far-right-extremist-nicholas-fuentes-doxxed-after-vile-election-rant/. Accessed 12 Nov. 2024.